Positive Reinforcement: 30+ Examples for Parents & ABA Therapists

TL;DR: Positive reinforcement is the most powerful tool in ABA therapy — and one of the most effective parenting strategies available. It means adding something desirable immediately after a behavior to increase the likelihood of that behavior happening again. It’s not bribery (bribery happens before the behavior; reinforcement happens after). Effective reinforcement is immediate, specific, consistent, and individualized to what your child actually finds motivating. This guide provides 30+ practical examples across settings, common mistakes to avoid, and tips for making reinforcement work at home.

If there’s one concept from ABA therapy that every parent should understand, it’s positive reinforcement. Not because it’s complicated — it’s actually beautifully simple. But because it’s the most reliable, evidence-based way to increase the behaviors you want to see in your child.

Positive reinforcement isn’t about sticker charts (though those can work). It’s about understanding a fundamental principle of behavior: behaviors that are followed by something the individual finds rewarding are more likely to happen again. That’s it. That’s the science.

The challenge isn’t understanding the concept — it’s applying it consistently, choosing the right reinforcers, and avoiding the common pitfalls that make reinforcement ineffective.

What Positive Reinforcement Is (and Isn’t)

The Definition

Positive reinforcement = adding something desirable (+) after a behavior occurs, which increases the future likelihood of that behavior.

Three elements must be present:

1. A behavior occurs (the child does something)
2. A consequence is added (something the child likes happens immediately after)
3. The behavior increases (the child does it more often in the future)

If the behavior doesn’t increase, it’s not reinforcement — regardless of your intentions. You might think you’re reinforcing, but if the behavior isn’t changing, you haven’t found the right reinforcer.

Reinforcement vs. Bribery

This is the most common confusion. They’re fundamentally different:

	Bribery	Positive Reinforcement
When	Before the behavior (to get compliance)	After the behavior (to strengthen it)
Context	Often used during a behavioral crisis	Used as a planned, consistent strategy
Example	”Stop screaming and I’ll give you candy”	Child follows directions calmly → “Great job following directions! Here’s a treat”
Effect	Teaches the child to misbehave to get bribed	Teaches the child that good behavior leads to good outcomes
Message	”You have power when you misbehave"	"Good things happen when you make good choices”

The key difference: Bribery is reactive and teaches the child to escalate. Reinforcement is proactive and teaches the child to succeed.

Reinforcement vs. Reward

These terms are often used interchangeably, but there’s a technical distinction:

• A reward is something you give that you hope is motivating
• A reinforcer is something that has been proven to increase behavior through data

You might give a child a sticker (reward), but if stickers don’t motivate that child, it’s not functioning as reinforcement. The only way to know if something is a reinforcer is to see if the behavior increases. This is why ABA therapy relies on data, not assumptions.

30+ Examples of Positive Reinforcement

At Home — Daily Routines

1. Child puts shoes on independently → “You did that all by yourself! High five!” + 5 minutes of iPad time
2. Child brushes teeth without a reminder → “I love that you remembered your teeth!” + choosing the bedtime story
3. Child uses the toilet successfully → Big celebration + preferred snack (see our potty training guide)
4. Child eats a non-preferred food → “You tried the green bean! That was brave!” + preferred dessert
5. Child gets dressed independently → Sticker on the morning routine chart → 5 stickers = special activity
6. Child follows bedtime routine → Extra story, choosing tomorrow’s breakfast, or 5 minutes of a preferred activity before lights out

At Home — Social and Communication

7. Child uses words to request instead of crying → Immediately give the requested item + verbal praise: “Great asking!”
8. Child makes eye contact during greeting → Enthusiastic response: “Hi buddy! I love when you look at me!”
9. Child shares a toy with sibling → “That was so kind of you to share! You can pick a game for us to play”
10. Child says “please” or “thank you” → Immediate acknowledgment: “Such nice manners!” + quick delivery of the request
11. Child tells you about their day → Full attention, engaged follow-up questions, and validation: “That’s so interesting! Tell me more”
12. Child uses AAC device to communicate → Respond immediately and naturally, just as you would to spoken words

At Home — Behavior Management

13. Child waits patiently → “You waited so patiently! That’s awesome” + immediate access to the activity
14. Child accepts “no” without a meltdown → “I know that was hard. I’m proud of you for staying calm” + offer an alternative
15. Child transitions between activities without protest → “Smooth transition! You’re ready for the next activity” + brief preferred activity before the transition target
16. Child uses a calm-down strategy → “You used your breathing! That was really grown-up” + access to a preferred activity after calming
17. Child stays seated during dinner → “You sat at the table the whole time! That earns a dessert tonight”

At School

18. Child raises hand before speaking → Teacher calls on them quickly + verbal praise
19. Child completes an assignment → Sticker, “Good work!” note, or 5 minutes of preferred activity
20. Child plays cooperatively at recess → Teacher acknowledges: “I saw you sharing the swing — that was kind”
21. Child follows a classroom rule → Token on the token board → tokens exchange for preferred item/activity
22. Child asks for help instead of getting frustrated → Immediate help + “Great job asking! That’s exactly what to do when something is tricky”

During ABA Therapy

23. Child attempts a new skill → Immediate social praise + preferred reinforcer (chosen from reinforcer assessment)
24. Child tolerates a difficult demand → Break earned + preferred activity
25. Child uses replacement behavior → Immediate access to what the challenging behavior was trying to get
26. Child participates in group activity → Specific praise: “You took turns with everyone — that was great teamwork!”
27. Child demonstrates generalized skill → Big celebration + extra reinforcement (bonus time with preferred item)

In the Community

28. Child stays with parent in a store → “You stayed right next to me — thank you!” + small treat or preferred item
29. Child waits in a line → “Impressive patience!” + access to device or fidget during the wait
30. Child greets a cashier or server → “That was so friendly!” + verbal praise
31. Child tolerates a haircut → Preferred activity immediately after the haircut
32. Child handles a doctor visit calmly → Special outing or treat after the appointment

Types of Reinforcers

Categories

Type	Examples	Best For
Social	Praise, high fives, hugs, smiles, thumbs up, applause	Maintaining behaviors long-term; always pair with other reinforcers
Tangible	Toys, stickers, small objects, books	Highly motivating for specific children; use for new or difficult skills
Activity	iPad time, playground, favorite game, choosing an activity, special outing	Naturally occurring; great for daily routine reinforcement
Edible	Small treats, crackers, favorite snacks, sips of juice	Powerful motivators; best for initial skill acquisition; fade over time
Token	Sticker charts, point systems, token boards	Delay reinforcement; teach working toward a goal; bridge to natural reinforcement

Finding What Works for YOUR Child

Not all children are motivated by the same things. A formal reinforcer assessment (also called a preference assessment) identifies what your child actually finds motivating. Your BCBA should conduct one during the initial assessment.

Quick at-home assessment:

1. Observe: What does your child choose during free time?
2. Offer two options: Which does your child pick more often?
3. Test: Does access to this item increase the preceding behavior?
4. Rotate: Reinforcers lose effectiveness with overuse — keep variety

Common mistakes in choosing reinforcers:

• Assuming all kids love stickers (many don’t)
• Using the same reinforcer until it loses value (satiation)
• Choosing what YOU think should be motivating rather than what IS motivating
• Using social praise alone for a child who doesn’t find social attention reinforcing (yet)

Principles of Effective Reinforcement

1. Immediacy

Reinforcement must follow the behavior within seconds — especially for young children or during initial skill learning. A reward given hours later (“You were good at the store this morning, so here’s a treat at bedtime”) is not connected to the behavior in your child’s mind.

Rule of thumb: 1–3 seconds after the behavior for maximum effectiveness.

2. Specificity

Tell your child exactly what they did right. “Good job!” is less effective than “Great job putting your shoes on by yourself!” Specific praise teaches the child which behavior earned the reinforcement.

3. Consistency

Especially when teaching new skills: reinforce EVERY correct response initially. Once the behavior is established, you can move to intermittent reinforcement (not every time, which actually makes the behavior more resistant to extinction in the long run).

4. Individualization

The reinforcer must be motivating for THIS child. Not what worked for their sibling. Not what the book said. Not what seems reasonable to you. What does your child actually want?

5. Contingency

The child must earn the reinforcement through the target behavior. If they get iPad time regardless of whether they put their shoes on, the iPad isn’t reinforcing shoe-wearing. Access to the reinforcer depends on the behavior.

6. Variation

Rotate reinforcers to prevent satiation. If your child gets M&Ms after every correct response for weeks, M&Ms stop being motivating. Mix it up: M&Ms, crackers, bubbles, tickles, a favorite song.

Find ABA providers near you who use positive reinforcement-based approaches, or take our matching quiz.

Common Mistakes

Mistake 1: Reinforcing the Wrong Behavior

You ask your child to clean up. They whine for 5 minutes, then finally clean up, and you say “Thank you for cleaning up!” You just reinforced a sequence that includes 5 minutes of whining. Better: Ignore the whining. Wait for the compliance. Reinforce the compliance immediately.

Mistake 2: Accidental Reinforcement of Challenging Behavior

Your child screams for a cookie. You say no. They scream louder. You give them a cookie to stop the screaming. You’ve just reinforced screaming. Next time, the screaming will be louder and longer because it worked. Read about the 4 functions of behavior to understand this pattern.

Mistake 3: Too Much Verbal Instruction During Reinforcement

“Good job putting your shoes on! See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? If you just did this every morning without me asking, we wouldn’t have to go through this every day…” By the time you finish this lecture, the reinforcement is buried under words. Keep it simple: “Shoes on! Awesome! Let’s go!”

Mistake 4: Delayed Reinforcement for Young Children

“If you’re good at the store, you can have ice cream later.” For a toddler or young child, “later” doesn’t exist. They can’t connect current behavior to future reward. Use immediate reinforcement for young children, and only introduce delayed reinforcement as they mature.

Mistake 5: Making Reinforcement Conditional on Perfection

“You put your shirt on, but it’s inside out. Try again.” You just punished effort. For a child learning a new skill, any attempt should be reinforced initially. You can shape toward perfection over time. Reinforce the try.

Fading Reinforcement

The goal isn’t for your child to need a treat every time they brush their teeth for the rest of their life. Reinforcement should be faded systematically:

1. Continuous reinforcement — every correct response (when first learning)
2. Intermittent reinforcement — every 2nd or 3rd response (once the skill is established)
3. Natural reinforcement — the behavior is maintained by natural consequences (brushing teeth → clean feeling, praise from dentist)

Your BCBA manages this fading process based on data. Learn about the broader role of reinforcement in ABA therapy.

Frequently Asked Questions

Isn’t positive reinforcement just bribing my child?

No. Bribery is offered before a behavior to stop a problem (negotiating during a meltdown). Reinforcement is provided after a desired behavior to strengthen it (planning and consistency). We all work on positive reinforcement — your paycheck reinforces going to work. That’s not bribery; it’s motivation.

My child doesn’t seem motivated by anything. What do I do?

Every child is motivated by something — you may just need to look harder. Observe what they gravitate toward during free time. Try unconventional reinforcers: sensory experiences (swinging, bubbles, deep pressure), specific music, preferred activities, or special interests. A BCBA can conduct a formal preference assessment to identify effective reinforcers. Sometimes the issue is satiation — the child has too much free access to potential reinforcers, so nothing feels special.

When should I stop using reinforcement?

You don’t stop entirely — you fade to natural reinforcement. Even adults perform better with acknowledgment and reward. The shift is from contrived reinforcement (sticker charts, treats) to natural reinforcement (feeling of accomplishment, social praise, natural consequences). This fading happens gradually as skills become fluent. Your BCBA can guide the transition.

Is it OK to use food as a reinforcer?

Yes — when used appropriately. Small amounts of preferred food (a single M&M, one cracker) are among the most powerful reinforcers, especially for young children or during initial skill acquisition. Concerns about using food as reinforcement are typically overstated — the small quantities used in ABA are not creating unhealthy eating patterns. As skills develop, food should be faded in favor of activity and social reinforcement.

How do I use positive reinforcement with a nonverbal child?

The same principles apply — you just adjust the delivery. Instead of verbal praise alone, pair it with physical reinforcement the child enjoys (high five, tickle, hug if they like it), tangible reinforcement (preferred toy for 30 seconds), activity reinforcement (spin in a chair, bounce on a ball), or edible reinforcement. The key is identifying what THIS child finds motivating, regardless of their communication abilities. An AAC device can help the child request their preferred reinforcers.